Disclaimer: These characters are the sole
property of Stephenie Meyer. I am just messing around with them.
A/N I don’t have a pre-reader or a Beta or
anything of the sort. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
-x-X-x-
A Love So Beautiful
Martha’s
Vineyard, United States of America 1894
My eyes are wide open in shock as Peter’s mouth moves over mine. His lips
are warm, sweet. He’s softly caressing my mouth with his. Even with my limited
experience with kissing I can attest that Peter is an expert in the subject.
Before I realise how, my eyes are closing and my arms are wrapping around his
neck.
I gasp when his tongue peeks to taste my lips, and he takes full
advantage of my reaction to explore my mouth fully. He places his hand on each
side of my face and tilts my face to deepen the kiss. His tongue caresses mine
in an erotic dance that extracts an unbidden moan from me.
I allow myself to enjoy this kiss, so long I’ve starved myself from any
type of physical affection I can almost ignore it’s my best friend I’m kissing.
Suddenly, I’m taken back in time and the lips kissing me are soft and
smell of sunshine and blue bells. I’m in a meadow in England, where my dreams
had a chance of becoming realities. I
pull myself closer to his body,
impossibly close, because I’ve missed this part of me. The part that was his, the part I was forced to hide to
survive. And I drown in the kiss, I die in the kiss and am born again, because
in my mind I’m not kissing Peter my best friend. In my mind, I’m kissing the best friend I left behind, the best friend I was made to forget.
“Edward,” I moan before I can stop myself.
Immediately the spell is broken, and Peter releases me, taking a step
back. His eyes look at me with sadness and hurt.
“I’m sorry—” I start to apologize but he shakes his head and speaks
before I am able to say anything.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. I overstepped my boundaries.
But I had to,” he hesitates, “I had to test for myself if there was a
possibility I was confusing my feelings for you with something more.”
“Oh,” I reply, surprised by any mention of feelings. Peter rarely
mentiones that word, let alone in regards of a woman.
“Let’s run to the house, Bella,” he says, reminding me of the rain
pouring from the grey skies.
In spite of the rain, we walk towards the main house in silence, not
hurrying.
We have a lot to discuss once we reach our destination.
-x-X-x-
We are sitting in front of the chimney. The fire is crackling. The storm
outside raging.
“When?” I ask simply.
Peter knows me well enough for me not to need to elaborate further.
“I am not quite certain. These things don’t follow a timeline, Bella. I
also don’t have the best experiences when it comes to matters of the heart.
However, if I had to set a date where it all began to change for me, I would
say it was some time around last summer.”
“Why do you think your feelings run deeper than friendship?” I enquire as
I sit myself in an armchair, facing Peter. If we are going to discuss his
feelings and our kiss I need to be looking at him. He’s too practised in hiding
his feelings, only his eyes betray him when he lies.
He sighs and rubs his face with both hands as if trying to gather his
thoughts.
“I’ve been mulling about my feelings for you for some time. We have been
friends for so long, sharing in our happiness and sorrows. For some time I
managed to convince myself I was reading more into them than I should. It’s the main reason why I decided to court Miss
Watson. I was trying to convince myself I could care for any woman like I do
you.”
“What did you conclude after your experiment?” I ask, almost wary of
Peter’s reply.
Peter rises from his chair and walks towards me. He kneels before me and
takes my hands in his. His eyes are full of emotion, something I’ve rarely seen
in Peter. He hides his true emotions. He’s never this honest, not even with me.
“I realised that that there’s only one person that I enjoy being around
with, only one person I can share my fears with, and only one person I dream
about at night,” he replies in an earnest voice.
I close my eyes as he squeezes my hands. Peter would be so easy to love.
He’s beautiful inside and out and yet I can’t bring myself to let go. All of the
sudden I’m angry. Angry because even after all this time I can’t make myself
forget, and move on. I wish it were as simple as wishing it.
I don’t realise I’m crying until Peter wipes a tear from my cheek with
the pad of his finger.
He presses his forehead against mine and whispers, “I know it’s no easy. Until
I met you I never dreamt I could ever feel anything but bitterness in my heart,
but you broke through all the walls I tried to build around myself. Your
sweetness, the way you do not allow yourself to be intimidated by my brashness,
your smile, your love for life even in spite of how cruel it has been with you,
you’re my match, Bella. I just hope I can make you see how happy we could be.”
“Peter—” I whisper. He interrupts me by placing a gentle kiss on my lips.
“Hush, Bella. I have time and patience. I know you still love him. But
one day, when enough time has passed, you’ll see as I have that there may be
someone else for you. Someone like me.”
-x-X-x-
After leaving Peter’s estate I abscond myself in my rooms. Having no
interest in discussing upcoming balls with my mother or my mood with aunt Leah.
I’m still pondering Peter’s words, when I hear a knock on my door.
“May I come in?” My aunt Leah asks from behind the door.
“You may,” I allow reluctantly. Between my mother and Aunt Leah, I much
prefer Aunt Leah’s questions. If I were to let mother know of Peter’s interest
in courting me she would start planning a summer wedding before I have the time
to protest. Mother is too keen of seeing me married and giving her
grandchildren to be unbiased on this matter.
“How are you, darling? Bessie tells me you requested your dinner be
served in your room. Are you feeling poorly? Did you catch a chill due to the
rain? I told Peter we should have returned immediately since you were soaked
but he insisted you dry by the fire instead.”
“I’m fine, aunt Leah,” I reply with what I hope is a convincing smile.
“You’re not. Please, what has you in such pensive mood? Was there
something in Alice’s letter that upset you?” Aunt Leah inquires as she takes a
seat in front of mine.
“No, she’s so happy. She’s with child. I’ve never imagined she could
sound this content in her marriage after the way in which it started.”
“Then, what has you so worried?” she probes.
I sigh and blink a few tears that have been gathering in my eyes.
“Aunt Leah, I’ve been living with you for almost five years. And though
I’m the happiest I’ve been since my return to America, I’m still not fully over
my feelings for Edward. And now Peter—” I stop abruptly, trying to decide how
to best put forth Peter’s proposition.
My aunt Leah smiles knowingly and I realise that I might have been the
only one blind to Peter’s growing feelings for me.
“You knew. Of course you did,” I state and aunt Leah nods still smiling.
“Peter has been remarkably transparent in his intentions towards you. I
could almost see the small changes that took part in him in these last months.
He has been slowly falling in love with you for the last year or so,” Aunt Leah
informs me.
I’m surprised over the fact that Peter was able to hide his feelings
from me so proficiently. I did not suspect them until he kissed me.
“How did I not notice?”
“You only see him with the eyes of a friend, Bella. Some drastic change
needed to occur in you for you to see Peter as more than the friend who escorts
you to balls and rides horses in the beach with you. Peter has been slowly
embracing his responsibilities as head of his family, and I believe that has to
do with the shift of his feelings for you.
“He sees you now as a woman with whom he can share his life, a woman who
can manage his house, a woman with whom he can have children and who will love
and care for them as his mother has cared for him. I’m sure he has already
explained this in more romantic terms.”
“He has,” I say as I gaze at my aunt in awe of her insightfulness. These
are all things Peter has said to me in different occasions. He has always
called me beautiful and unabashedly flirted with me.
However, in recent months I’ve noticed a new intensity imbued in his
words. You’re beautiful turned into you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever
seen. You make me laugh turned
into I only laugh when I’m with you. You’re good with children turned into
one day you’ll make a great mother.
“What are you thinking, darling?” Aunt Leah asks, breaking me out of my
musings.
“I’m confused, aunt Leah. I love Peter, but I’m not in love with him. I
don’t know if I ever will. He wants to court me. He asked me to give him the
opportunity to demonstrate that he can make me fall in love with him. He asked
for a year to achieve this.”
“What are you afraid of, Bella? You will never know what could have been
if you don’t allow Peter to court you,” she says in a motherly tone. I know she
has my best interest at heart and take her words with the seriousness she meant
them with.
“I’m afraid I’ll lose yet another friend if after a year I’m unable to fall
for Peter as he predicts I will. I haven’t stopped loving Edward in all this
time. How do you suppose I’ll stop now?”
“Oh, darling. He who risks nothing wins nothing. You must be bold! You
must give Peter his chance at winning your heart. You have been hiding from
life for far too long and we have indulged you. It’s time you step into the
light and embrace love once more!” My aunt says in a beseeching voice.
I allow my aunt’s words to wash away my fears and recognize the wisdom
in them. If I remain in this limbo I’ve sequestered myself into I will not be
able to see if love it’s still a possibility for me. I’ve been hiding from
Edward and from the memories of him for so long, I’ve even allowed my fear to
keep me away from a country I’ve come to consider as my own.
It is time for a change in my life.
-x-X-x-
“Miss, Mr Rothschild is here to see you,” Bessie, my maid announces.
“Please show him into the drawing room. I will be with him momentarily,”
I request.
I take a deep breath and gather my strength. I’ve come to a decision and
will follow through with it.
“Good morning,” I greet Peter as I walk into the drawing room.
He stands and bows before he
replies, “Good morning, you look lovely this morning.”
I blush since now I know there’s more to Peter’s flattery than I guessed
before.
“Thank you,” I reply meekly as I take a seat.
“Have you thought about my request?” Peter inquires immediately after I’m
sited.
“I have. And I agree. I’ve become too accustomed to hiding behind my
family and even you. You’re correct in your assessment that I haven’t allowed
myself to imagine a life in which Edward has no part of. Therefore, I’ve chased
away every suitor who dared pursue me.
“I’ve grown weary though. I want to give you a chance. I want to give us
a chance to see if our friendship could evolve into something more.”
Peter smiles broadly, that boyish smile he only reserves for me.
“Your father will not be happy when he hears of this,” he says in a
teasing tone.
I can’t help but smile as well at his words. “He’ll be happy if I’m
happy,” I reply.
Before I can speak another word Peter rises from his chair, walks up to
me, wraps his arm around my waist and lifts me from my chair. He kisses me,
passionately, softly, adoringly. As if I’m the most precious thing in his life,
and for the first time since I care remember I allow myself to hope. To hope
for love again.
My breath is as ragged as his when we part. His smile is silly and
contagious.
I take a step back, and put some distance between us so I can tell him
about the rest of my resolutions.
“What is the matter?” he enquires, surely noticing a new tension in my
expression.
“Before I can try to give you my heart in full, I must face my demons,
Peter. One of my biggest errors was to take myself away from London. At the
time, it did serve the purpose of giving me some space and time to heal.
However, after a while it became a way for me to escape that which I found unpleasant.
I need to return to England, visit Alice and close this chapter of my life
before I can begin a new one.”
“I suspected you would conclude something of the sort,” he says. He’s not
smiling any longer.
“Thank you for understanding.”
“I’ll go with you,” he declares suddenly.
I gape at him. Surely he didn’t mean to say that.
He notices my shock and speaks before I can object, “You must understand.
I want equal chance at winning your heart. If you go to England alone, and
single, Edward or any other man may try to woo you. I want to be there to
compete in equal terms for your affections.”
“Edward is married, Peter,” I answer sullenly, too sullenly which makes
Peter narrow his eyes.
“If he really regrets his marriage and still wants you that won’t stop
him. It would not stop me,” he says firmly.
I consider his proposal. He has been a source of strength for me these
past years. Would it be wrong of me to rely on him once more?
“Please don’t ponder on this too much. Follow your instincts, what do
they tell you?”
I look at Peter and answer without thinking, just as he asked. “We’re
going to England, then.”
Peter finds his boyish smile once more and says, “We’re going to England.”
-x-X-x-
Happy
Saturday! :) Piece of advice: avoid screwdrivers on an empty stomach. Just take
my word for it :D So we're going to England, Woot!
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