Quick A/N:
There's a play list here -playlists
section-that goes with this chapter, if you
want to listen to some music while
you read, or want to listen to what I
listened while I was writing. DISCLAIMER: Some lucky lady named Stephenie
Meyer owns Twilight!I don’t own a thing,
just playing with her Universe._________________________________________________
Chapter 7: Star-Crossed Lovers
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone"
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Esme poured herself another glass of scotch. She wasn't one to drink during the day, but she had just relived memories she would give anything to forget. If getting drunk was what she needed to forget this morning a hangover was a very small price to pay.
She stared at the golden-brown liquid as memories cut through her heart and reopened wounds she believed had closed. She remembered the night Anthony told her he needed to leave Forks, how he had begged to move to New York to live with his uncle Aro; his desperation and sadness that fateful night, the hollowness of his voice when he said goodbye to his family at Seatac.
But those weren't the most haunting. Slowly, cold filled her; starting at her toes, climbing to engulf her bleeding heart as memories of the last time she ever saw Anthony alive invaded her senses. How he had defended that girl, said that everything was forgiven and that they were going away together, to college. Esme had been furious. Her son always fell for that girl's lies, always. Had she raised him to be that gullible and naïve? Esme knew the answer to that question was yes.
Anthony had been the sweetest, most sheltered boy in the world. Her failure had been her extreme over-protectiveness. She hadn't taught him that blind trust, even in those he loved, could mean certain doom. He didn't know when to cut his losses; he kept fighting for that girl until it killed him.
Esme gulped the entire glass, attempting to suppress memories of the night Anthony died. She poured herself another drink as she remembered the phone call about a car accident that changed her life forever. Tears started to fall from her eyes, unwanted tears, tears of weakness. She didn't tolerate weakness in herself. Her weakness had cost her one son already. It would not cost her two.
She wiped her eyes and recalled the worst pain she had felt in her life. Some women complain about the pain of delivery, but in Esme's opinion, bringing a child into the world didn't hurt nearly as bad as losing one to the evils of it did. She would take the pain of a thousand births over the pain she felt that night as she watched her son, her Anthony, laying lifeless and cold in the morgue.
She had been asked to identify the body. Carlisle had been away at a conference. She wished she could erase that vision from her mind, but no amount of liquor could numb her enough to forget. Anthony's empty eyes—eyes that had been green and alive like the trees in May—would haunt her nightmares until the day she died.
It had been entirely that wretched girl's fault. Anthony was supposed to go to Juilliard, marry a nice girl like Rosalie and have beautiful babies. All the hopes and dreams she had for her son had died that night, and it was all because of Marie Dwyer.
She was brought back to the present when she heard the front door slamming and Edward's voice calling for her. She wiped her face with a napkin, trying to erase any sign of her tears. She had long ago decided not to make the same mistakes with Edward that she did with Anthony. She wasn't going to be weak or teach him to be weak. Edward would be a survivor, not a victim. She would make sure of that.
"Mom!" Edward said as he came face to face with Esme. He dreaded the conversation that needed to happen between them, but he couldn't wait for his father. He needed to have a talk with his mom as soon as possible otherwise he knew this talk would never happen. If Edward had learned how to hide things and lie from anyone in his family, he knew without a doubt that person was Esme.
Edward knew his lower lip looked bad; swollen and bruised. He wanted his mom to see what she did. Maybe now that she had had time to calm down she would realize just how wrong her actions had been, especially when faced with the evidence of them.
"Edward," Esme said in a gruff voice. She stared at her son's battered lip and felt like flinching. She felt the pain of what she had regretfully done to her own flesh and blood. She struggled to recover from her initial reaction.
"What do you want?" she asked, in the vain attempt to avoid the unavoidable. She wasn't looking forward to this particular heart-to-heart with her son.
"I think you know, Mom," Edward replied with determination. "We need to have a serious talk."
-x-x-x-x-
When Bella and her dad arrived home Renee was sitting on the porch. The minute Bella stepped out of the car she was engulfed in a tight hug. Her mom's enthusiastic greeting further cemented Bella's suspicion that her parents feared for her safety while they thought she was at the Cullens'. They definitely knew more about that family than they'd ever mentioned.
"Mom! You're squeezing the air out of me!" Bella choked, trying to escape her mother's death grip.
"Sorry, honey. I was just so worried about you when your dad called," Renee confessed before realizing she had made a mistake. Bella didn't know, and Renee didn't want her to know, the reason behind her concern.
Bella noticed how her mother paled after her admission, further proof that she was trying to hide something, and failing. She needed answers and she was going to get them.
"Mom, Dad?" Bella began, "I think we need to talk."
Renee and Charlie shared a confused look before Charlie responded, "Of course, darling. What do you want to talk about?"
"The Cullens."
-x-x-x-x-
"Why did you slap Bella? What has she ever done to deserve the way you treated her?" Edward asked without preamble.
Esme laughed bitterly. She had hidden things from Edward all of his life and it was extremely ironic how the truth had a way of surfacing no matter how hard she tried to bury it. She knew there was no point in keeping silent. Edward was a stubborn boy and would keep asking until he got answers.
"What are you laughing at?" Edward asked in an aggravated tone. He couldn't believe his mother found anything amusing about this situation.
"Oh, Edward, if you only knew," Esme responded, snorting at her son's indignation.
"That's exactly the problem, Mother! I don't know and I should," Edward yelled. He was tired of his mother's deflection tactics. He wanted straight answers, not guessing-games.
Esme stopped laughing immediately, in shock. Once again Edward had yelled at her, when just the day before he wouldn't have dared to raise his voice in her presence. Her little boy was growing up, but under the wrong influence.
"Don't you yell at me Edward Anthony Cu…" she stopped herself. She said the one name that at this exact moment could bring her to tears.
A strangled sob came from his mom and Edward found himself torn between wanting to console her, even though he didn't understand her pain or her mood changes, and staying where he was. He felt that Esme might be trying to manipulate him, pretending to be emotional to buy time.
However, when he saw his mother's tearful face he immediately ran to gather her in his arms. He didn't recognize the woman he was holding. He had always known an unbreakable Esme, a woman so put together that she never cried. But in the space of a single day, she had become so emotionally unpredictable; he didn't know when she would break down in tears or start yelling.
"Mom! Mom, talk to me please," Edward begged as Esme continued to sob into his chest. "Please, mom, help me understand what's going on. I'm confused. Do you know Bella and her family?"
Esme tried to control her weeping in order to answer her son. She released her tight hold on Edward's shirt and walked to the fireplace. She looked at the family photographs displayed on the mantel: Edward's first piano recital; Jacob's graduation and wedding; her own wedding pictures. She knew exactly which pictures were missing.
Right after Anthony's death, Carlisle removed all the photographs and had hidden them away to prevent one of her nervous breakdowns. After a while, she was able to focus on her newborn son, Edward, and the Cullens pretended to be fine, ignoring the gigantic elephant in the room.
Esme was happy with Edward; caring for him, enjoying motherhood from the beginning all over again, why bring back painful memories? And that's how Anthony had become a taboo topic in the house.
Everyone ignored the anniversary of Anthony's death, instead focusing on the one positive thing they celebrated that day as well; Edward's birthday. He was born two months before his due date, a consequence of the emotional stress Esme endured when she identified Anthony's body. It was a miracle Edward had survived at all. He was weak and very small. Esme would forever feel guilty over the circumstances of Edward's birth. If she had called Jacob, she wouldn't have had to go into that morgue, and she wouldn't have had Edward before it was time.
Esme clutched her locket hard between her fingers; it was the one thing she wasn't able to part with. It was Anthony's last gift before the big fight that created a rift between them. She turned and walked to where Edward stood. She unhooked the locket and opened it, before placing it in Edward's hands.
"That, my dear, is your brother Anthony," she said in a hollow voice.
A boy with Edward's exact shade of green eyes smiled in the photograph.
"Huh?" was all Edward could reply to the shocking revelation.
-x-x-x-x-
The Swan clan sat in the living room staring at each other.
When Bella had asked about the Cullens, Charlie suggested they go inside to talk more comfortably. But after they sat down neither Renee nor Charlie knew how to discuss the Cullens. They didn't know how much Bella knew, but she obviously knew something, hence their hesitation to start a potentially awkward conversation.
They kept a lot of things from Bella to protect her innocent mind, but evil sneaked into their lives anyway. They suspected the Cullens still lived in Forks and took a big risk by moving here. They wanted to spare their daughter the troubling nightmares that had plagued her sleep since she was a toddler. They succeeded in that respect, so they couldn't truly feel bad about their decision. Now they would have to wade through the possible complications-the Cullens being one of them.
Charlie was particularly worried for his wife. He had to acknowledge that she was the true reason they hadn't told Bella anything. He would have been satisfied and his conscience clear if he shared the tragic events of the past with his daughter a lot sooner, but he didn't for Renee's sake. He knew she would have to be included in that conversation, since it was a story about her family, not his. But he wasn't sure she was ready to face her demons and this was why he was shocked when she broke the silence.
"You went to the Cullens after all," Renee said. It was a statement, not a question.
Bella was once again floored by her mother's intuition; she knew she shouldn't be though. Renee had more than proven how good she was at reading her and figuring out what was going through her mind. Still, it took a couple of minutes for Bella to reply in a soft voice, "Yes."
"Esme treated you badly? Did she say anything insulting?" Renee continued.
"She did that, and then some. She slapped me and her son, too."
"That bitch," Charlie muttered, shocking Bella. Her dad never swore.
Renee just shook her head amused over Charlie's slip-up.
"Her son?" she inquired after a short pause, before she remembered. "Oh, it was a boy."
Bella was baffled by the words. Her mother seemed far away, thinking of unsettling things. Bella could see it in her face.
Renee sighed before continuing; she needed all of her strength to tell this story. She would try to skip the gory details as much as she could but she would be honest. Bella deserved that.
"I had a sister, she is… " Renee stopped to collect herself. "She passed away."
Bella had a million and one questions, but before she could ask them Renee raised her hand. "Please let me finish before you ask anything. It is a hard story for me to tell, and if I'm going to tell it, it has to be like ripping off a band-aid."
Bella nodded. It was obviously sad and very hard to relive, so Bella kept quiet to allow her mom to go at her own pace.
"She was almost three years younger than me. She was brunette, like you, and so beautiful. I loved her deeply." Renee stood up and sat by the window, staring at the light drizzle that started to fall after Bella got home. A sunny day never did last in Forks.
"I've told you stories about how our mother was with us. Your grandma Jane was not what you would call an exemplary mother, and your grandpa Phil was at best mediocre as a parent. Neither of them ever really took care of us. As you already know they both came from money, hence the size of this house." Renee waved her hand dismissively as if the size of their home wasn't really all that important when in fact it was one of the biggest in Forks.
"When I was around fourteen they lost it all. My father wasn't a very good investor, so it was bound to happen eventually. They sold everything, except for this house, and that's how we ended up moving down here." Renee hugged herself, signaling to Bella that the bad part of this story came next.
"My mother found solace in alcohol, and belittling us, especially Marie. I was the 'good daughter'," she emphasized with air quotes. "I dressed nice, I volunteered, I got good grades. I was the socialite she had raised me to be, minus the actual money. She was certain I would marry into wealth and save them all from poverty. Marie was a wallflower, and she loved books like you do, so she wasn't the daughter Jane wanted, and she made sure Marie knew it."
"I earned a scholarship for Yale and moved back East. I couldn't have been happier. I was finally away from this place and the parent that made me so miserable. I was so happy; I selfishly dismissed the fact that my little sister was going to be left behind as the sole target of her attacks.
"Marie wrote to me for the first six months I was away. She had met this boy, Anthony." Bella gasped when she heard the name.
Renee turned and observed her daughter carefully, trying to read her as she always did. She couldn't figure out Bella's reaction to the mention of Anthony's name, but assumed Esme must have said something to her about him, so she continued.
"Anyways, she sounded genuinely happy for the first time in our lives. She told me how wonderful he was, that he was from New York and had moved here with his family. From her letters she really sounded like a sixteen year old girl. Happy, giggly and foolish. Then suddenly the letters stopped.
"I assumed she was too wrapped up with her new boyfriend to write, and whenever I called home my mother never mentioned there was anything wrong. I was busy with college, and had just met your father so I let time go by and didn't ask too many questions. I'll never forgive myself for that."
Bella, still stunned by the discovery of her ties to Marie, noticed how her mother's face darkened with an expression of an ancient sorrow. She could guess the events that followed if her dreams were any indication.
"After eighteen months or so, my mom called me. I wasn't home so she left a message. Jane Dwyer didn't make scenes or act desperate, it was beneath her, but her voice told me she was in trouble. I called her back as soon as I could, and she told me Marie was in the hospital because she had ODed. I didn't even know my little sister was doing drugs."
Charlie walked to where Renee was sitting and grabbed her hand in reassurance. He had been there for this part of the story so he continued, giving Renee time to recover.
"I accompanied your mom to the hospital, and while we were waiting for news your mom ran into an old high school friend who worked there. She told us just how bad Marie had been for the last year."
Renee clutched Charlie's hand tighter and picked up the story. "My friend told me she had had some sort of fight with her boyfriend. Apparently Marie cheated on him, and he moved to New York to live with his uncle. She had become an alcoholic and a drug addict at the tender age of seventeen. She had developed a reputation for wild partying and sleeping around. Supposedly, she would have sex with anyone willing to buy her a drink or drugs." Her tears flowed freely at the thought of her little sister in such a situation.
Bella's eyes widened. She assumed, based on the one dream she remembered, that Marie had been a troubled girl and had broken Anthony's heart. She remembered Anthony's drug use accusations, even the ones about Marie sleeping with someone else, but she thought it was only one person, not anyone willing to support her vices. Bella fought against the bile that rose in her throat. She knew it was bad, but not this bad.
"He was at the hospital you know," Renee murmured after a long silence. "Anthony. He was there. If half the things I was told were true that boy had been through hell and back for my sister, and yet he was there, worried sick for her. He spent the night sleeping in the hallway and didn't leave until the doctors assured us she was going to be fine. He came back the next day, and brought a bouquet of lavender colored roses. Marie wasn't awake yet so I took the opportunity to ask him why he kept coming back if they had truly broken up on such bad terms. You know what he said?"
Bella hadn't the slightest idea of why he would care so much for someone who hurt him that badly.
"He told me," Renee answered, "because I have no choice. I didn't choose to love her, and I can't make myself un-love her any more than I can take my heart out of my chest and continue living. I've spent the last year trying to forget her. I fooled myself into thinking I had, but once I was back I knew I hadn't. She's my life." She sighed remembering those words and how true they rang even after all the events that transpired later. "He was a pretty intense boy for his age."
Sometimes, I wish he had known when to give up. I'm not sure Marie wanted to be saved, Renee thought, but she didn't share her musings with her family.
Bella's heart warmed when she heard Anthony's reply, the romantic in her was in awe of the depth of his love for Marie, the cynic in her was amazed at how blind he had been. However, for Bella, something didn't add up. She could understand Esme being mad at Marie, but why had she and Renee been measured with the same ruler? Esme's anger was too deep to be explained by Anthony's heartbreak. There had to be something more, and she was sure it was related to the way Marie and Anthony died.
"How did they die?" Bella finally asked when she could no longer bear her mother's silence.
Renee shook her head in disbelief. Her daughter was just as intuitive as she was, always cutting to the point of things. She took a shaky breath before responding, "After that Marie went into rehab and I stayed a couple of months to help. My dad was involved with some pretty shady people, which I assume was how Marie got involved with drugs. I guess he was trying to regain his fortune in not-so-honest ways. I was afraid to leave Marie in this house with dealers coming in and out of here. My father's 'business associates' wouldn't hesitate to sell to her, if she met their price." Renee shuddered when she thought of the 'alternative' forms of payment those men would have taken.
"But it was Anthony who convinced me to leave. After my sister's close call with death he decided he was going to take care of her. He was already eighteen, so he had his trust-fund money. He went against his family, against Esme, to take care of Marie. He moved her out of here and to live with him in a house he bought for her. He hired a lawyer to get her emancipated. He freed Marie. I went away satisfied she would be safe."
Bella only nodded. She knew that Marie hadn't been safe. Something tragic had happened.
Renee's tears ran freely; this was the hardest part of her sister's story "Marie and Anthony went away to college after a few months. She wrote me about how happy she was, how much Anthony loved her, how she was studying English and would one day be a writer. I dreaded the idea of a wedding with how my family was, so your dad and I eloped. I invited Marie and Anthony along and we got married in Vegas. That was the last time I saw her alive. She had been radiating happiness. I've never seen her that happy."
Bella felt a knot in her throat. She knew the end of this tragic tale was near, and she didn't look forward to it. Star-crossed lovers, Bella thought, as tears started to fall from her eyes as well.
"Almost nine months later I received a call. We were living in Portland at the time so we weren't far from Forks. I was very pregnant with you and your dad's business was starting to take off. I was busy with my life and hadn't seen Marie or talked to her in almost three months. I assumed she was equally busy with her life. That was always my biggest mistake with Marie, I assumed too much."
"The call was from Forks Hospital. They wanted your mom to identify a body," Charlie explained when Renee's emotions overwhelmed her. She continued to sob in Charlie's arms as he finished the story.
"Marie had jumped from a cliff in La Push; apparently there were drugs in her system. It was ruled a suicide."
Bella's whole body stiffened when the word suicide left her father's lips. She was right; it was all about how they died. She almost didn't want to know what happened to Anthony.
"According to the police," Charlie said, "she and Anthony had some sort of fight. Marie was supposedly doing drugs again and Anthony wouldn't put up with it. Anthony left her and returned to Forks they assume to reconcile with his family, because what other reason could there be for him to drive to Forks after fighting with Marie. Marie rented a car and followed him. The police investigation showed that the car Marie rented had hit Anthony's car in the rear, that she purposefully made Anthony's car lose control. He died at the scene, not far from where Marie's rental was found, and from the cliff where she jumped."
Bella's whole body felt as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on her. Marie had killed Anthony?
-x-x-x-x-
Edward lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He couldn't believe the story his mother had told.
He still wasn't over the fact that Marie and Anthony were real people when Esme dropped the rest of the story on him. She told him about everything Marie had done, how she had broken their family apart, and then how she finally had ended Anthony's life.
He couldn't believe it.
In the end he tried to reason with his mom that Bella wasn't born when all this took place and that Esme's treatment of her was still inexcusable.
His mother had yelled that she wouldn't allow history to repeat itself and ordered Edward to his room. She told him all the Dwyers were rotten, and she wouldn't permit his friendship with Bella to continue. She told him he would not be destroyed by that family.
Edward wondered if Bella's parents were as stubborn in their attitude towards his family. He had never believed in stories like Romeo and Juliet's. He had thought them part of the world of fiction, but tonight he felt like a real life Romeo. He only hoped he would be smarter and less impulsive. Those two flaws had been the source of his major mistakes; the ones that cost Romeo his life.
He looked at his watch and realized it was barely five in the afternoon. He needed to talk to Bella but he needed to do it face to face. The conversation about their relatives' untimely and tragic demise wasn't one that could wait, because of the nightmares. He got up, and grabbed some money for a cab, as well as his cell. He was going to try and see Bella even if her parents kicked him out.
But his plans were soon foiled when he tried to turn the doorknob. The door wouldn't open. Esme had locked him in.
_________________________________________________
A/N So, I'm alive, I didn't die, but a cousin of mine did on very tragic circumstances. Thus, the week I took off. I don't know if any of you know about how Catholic rituals work for wakes and burials, but they are sad all-night-long affairs. My cousin and I weren't close, he was almost a decade older than me, but I was still too upset to post, I hope you understand.
I made a youtube video for this story, which you can find here:
Now as always, I will like to take a moment to thank all the people that help me make this thing readable, my suffering Betas Dante Levine andMonamour, and my pre-readers Rhian0000 and Lemonmartinis. They all take time out of their daily lives to help me and I'll be forever grateful for that.
Also, I will like to do a small rec, ChiTwiGal is a first time author that like many of us is courageously putting herself out there with her first story. Please give her story a chance, and show her some love. Writing a fic is a lot harder than most people think, as it's to post it for everyone's scrutiny. You can find her story here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6099557/1/
I'm on Twitter as ange_de_laube I post any news there, and at the Twilighted thread
Thank you for your patience and kind words during this last week, for taking the time to read, review, and recommend this story.
(Hugs)
Ange
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