DISCLAIMER#2: I do not know anything about medicine or treatments. Everything in this chapter was thanks to Google. So, take it with a grain of salt…Chapter 11: Red Pill
“It's a symbol for your desire to return to reality. In your dreams you'll fall asleep.”
Dr. Edgemar’s quote from the Film Total Recall (1990)
Blood is thicker than water, they say. This was a proverb that kept repeating itself in Bella’s mind as she waited in the reception for her father.
He had called her just as
Since the day they met, just a short week ago, every single thing that happened with him and around him was more intense than anything she had ever known. She had been invaded by a deluge of new feelings; feelings that had been foreign to her. She was even more surprised by the fact that instead of freaking out, she had welcomed these new feelings as old friends who stopped by for a visit after a very long time of not seeing each other. She felt older, stronger, more mature, she even felt wiser somehow.
She had always been different from the other kids her age, never forming long-lasting relationships, never feeling a connection towards anyone she met when she knew she should feel something. She had always felt a stranger in her own life, finding solace in her books and in her family. However, since she had stumbled — literally — into Edward, she had felt all of the things she had been missing. She had had that proverbial light-bulb moment where everything suddenly started to make sense. Everything just clicked into place. Her life, as of late, seemed to be accelerated, going at lightning speed and yet, she wasn’t worried about all this change. The only thing that scared her to the bones was the possibility of it coming to and end, whatever it was… Was it love?
She knew the answer to that question, but saying it aloud, acknowledging it — even in her mind — would make it more real, more threatening.
After hearing what love and heartache had done to her aunt, she wasn’t sure love was something she was ready for yet she feared that it could be taken from her prematurely. She knew, deep down, that it was already too late; if Edward was taken away she would be broken. What a contradictory state of mind to be in.
“Bella,” she heard her father call from a very distant place, it sounded almost like an echo in an empty room.
Bella blinked, the voice of her father bringing her out of her heavy thoughts, and everything came into focus. All of the hospital noises that she had been drowning out invaded Bella’s ears. It was loud, and disorienting.
“Dad,” Bella said in a daze.
“How are you kiddo? Is everything alright with your friend?” he asked, truly concerned about the boy. He may not like the idea of his little girl growing up too fast and having a boyfriend but he didn’t want anything bad happening to the kid either.
“Yes, Edward is just fine… um… It’s his mom. She had some sort of fainting fit. They’re talking to the doctors now,” she explained, stealing a glance towards the waiting room. She hadn’t heard anyone crying or screaming, so she hoped the news wasn’t too bad.
“And why are you out here then? Why aren’t you with them? Isn’t that why you’re here?” Charlie couldn’t understand why after coming to the hospital and waiting around for news she was standing in the reception.
“Um…” Bella hesitated, “it just felt off, like I was invading a private moment or something.” She shrugged and looked towards the door again.
“Sweetie, it won’t be invading if he wants you there,” her father said in a soft, reassuring tone.
Bella swallowed the lump that had been constricting her throat ever since she saw Edward walking through those doors. She really wanted to be there, but feared that if something bad happened to Esme Edward would hate her. She could endure anything but Edward’s hate.
“Come on!” Charlie encouraged, motioning his daughter towards the doors. “I bet you anything that he’ll feel better if you’re next to him. No matter what the news is.”
Bella sighed, gathering strength to face whatever was behind those doors. She desperately hoped it was Edward’s loving gaze and not his sorrowful teary eyes, or worse his hateful scowl. She wet her lips with her tongue and started to walk slowly.
One step at a time.
-x-x-x-x-
“Dad,” Jacob exclaimed as he walked through the waiting room doors. His dad looked defeated, weary and ten years older than he did the last time he saw him. What had happened to his mother? He truly hoped it wasn’t anything bad. He wasn’t sure his family could survive another tragedy.
“Jacob, Edward…”
He was tired, physically and emotionally. He thought that things couldn’t get any worse when he had seen his wife spiral into depression after Anthony’s death, but the way she completely collapsed today had marred his heart and his psyche. He would never, in all his life, forget the things she said to him when he defended Edward’s right to be with Bella if he wanted to or the way she dropped lifeless in bed at one point of their argument.
When they had arrived at the hospital, he wasn’t coherent enough to treat his wife or evaluate her state. He was terrified.
He loved Esme with all his being ever since they were kids. She was his dream girl, the mother of his children, his wife, his soul mate. He couldn’t conceive a life without her, a time after Esme.
He had been incredibly relieved when he saw that Dr. Berty was on call that day. He was a renowned doctor, that like him, had renounced the glamour and paycheck a hospital in the city had to offer for the small-town life his wife, as well as Esme, craved. He was the only man in Forks he would ever trust to treat his wife.
They had wheeled Esme straight into an exam room.
After numerous exams and hours of waiting and pacing he finally had his answer. He wished he didn’t know.
Dr. Berty’s sympathetic look made
“
“Your wife fainted because she has early stages of dilated cardiomyopathy. I would have to run more tests, but her previous history with alcohol when you lost Anthony, and the levels of alcohol found in her blood are making me more and more inclined to give an Alcoholic cardiomyopathy diagnosis. Do you think it’s possible that Esme could have kept something like that hidden from you, an addiction like that hidden for so long?”
Yes, he had to acknowledge the possibility that Esme was what many people called a functional alcoholic. He could no longer ignore the obvious and let his wife continue to sink lower dragging everyone with her.
Esme’s health was already deteriorating. His son’s emotional health and his family’s wellbeing were at risk. He couldn’t keep pretending everything was alright. He had to start by being honest with his family and discuss a solution together, as they should have done from the beginning.
It was with that conviction that he prepared himself to disclose the facts of Esme’s condition to his sons and his granddaughter.
“Please, let’s all take a seat,”
His family, eager for information on Esme’s health agreed and sat. They just wanted answers, any sort of answers to calm the anxiety that had filled them for the last hour.
Acceptance is the first step.
“Edward, Jacob,
“She’s showing some houses in
“Basically, Esme’s heart is weakened and enlarged. This condition causes a strain in the heart muscle and it’s unable to pump blood as it should. In a way, our fight this morning was a good thing. If it weren’t for the fact that arguing with me made her heart pump furiously we probably would have missed this until it was too late. Alcoholic cardiomyopathy is not so common in women and it’s often asymptomatic until it has progressed to an advanced stage.”
Edward, Jacob and Alice shared looks of disbelief.
It seemed as if Edward’s life had become a rollercoaster. In the last forty-eight hours he had discovered he had had another brother, that his dreams were probably being caused by said brother and his possibly murderous girlfriend, he fought with his mother, shared his first kiss and found out his almost aunt had played a key role in starting the Anthony and Marie saga.
Edward’s world no longer made sense to him. He went from the boredom and apathy that had filled his days, to the excitement of first love and the many roadblocks it had already encountered.
In a way it’s as if the nightmares are slowly slipping into my reality, Edward mused.
“Wait a minute,” Jacob interjected. “You said alcoholic cardiomyopathy? What does that mean? What does alcohol have to do with any of this?”
Then he had reasoned that Esme was a functional citizen; that their sons didn’t know about her addiction, so it surely wasn’t an addiction like he was starting to believe. After all, weren’t alcoholics supposed to be lowlifes with no family, friends or anything one would consider normal? Esme had all of those things, she dressed nice, smelled nice, kept the house clean, took care of their underage son, indubitably alcohol couldn’t be a problem, could it? Not with her doing all those things. However, now that the blindfold had finally fallen, he had to behold the truth. The truth was it was a very big problem.
He sighed heavily, and rubbed his eyes trying to clear his mind before he answered. “Most of the times, the causes behind a dilated cardiomyopathy are not discovered. However, the patient’s medical history can help us determine if there’s a known cause behind the condition. After an examination, it became apparent that the cause behind your mother’s condition wasn’t due to any of the common causes. Dr. Berty asked me about her alcohol levels and I had to agree with him that alcohol could be the cause.”
“What do you mean alcohol could be the cause? Mom is not an alcoholic!” Edward seethed in a low menacing voice, enraged by his father’s claim.
“Son,”
“No, no, no! Mom is not an alcoholic. I spend a lot of time in the house with her. I would have seen it, I would have known…” Edward continued, undeterred by
“Listen son,”
“No!” Edward yelled, getting up and taking a couple of steps towards the door.
“Edward, calm down, please just hear me out,”
“No, I refuse to stand here and hear you drag my mother’s name through the mud. She’s not an alcoholic and this heart problem she has must have another explanation. Go do more tests! Do whatever you have to do, but don’t come to me and tell me my mom is an alcoholic!” Edward shouted, his voice a mix of sadness and desperation.
As the words left his mouth Bella and Charlie Swan walked through the doors.
They had heard voices rising, but she never expected to encounter Edward shouting and distraught. He was yelling at his own father, hurt and fury tainting his features. What could have happened to make the sweet, mild-mannered Edward Bella had come to know act in the way he was?
Before she could ask though, Edward stomped out of the room, opening the doors with so much ferocity that they almost came off of their hinges.
“What was that about?” Charlie asked, truly worried about the boy. He had gotten the impression that Edward was a very mature kid for his age and he didn’t see him throwing a tantrum of that magnitude without good cause.
“He just heard some upsetting news,” Jacob replied in a weary voice. He immediately recognized Charlie from the last time they had seen each other all those years ago. “Good to see you again Charlie, even given the circumstances.”
“Jacob?” Charlie asked, studying the features of the man standing in front of him, trying to match his face to that of the young man he had met in a hospital fifteen years ago.
“Yes. How are you Charlie?” Jacob asked with a watery smile. He had met Charlie in similar circumstances. Actually, far worse circumstances, he added mentally. They had met the night Anthony and Marie died.
“I’m good. Is he going to be okay?” he asked with concern.
“He will once he cools off. He just needs some time to calm down.” Jacob replied. He was much too preoccupied with the news and consoling a sobbing
“Dad,” Bella whispered in a broken voice which immediately drew Charlie’s attention. He turned to find his daughter’s eyes clouded with tears and panicked at seeing her sad expression.
“What is it hon?” She seemed so vulnerable and broken, much like the boy who just fled the premises had looked.
“Dad, would it be okay if I went after Edward? I promise I’ll make him stay close by. I just… I think he needs someone to talk to…” Bella asked.
Under normal circumstances Charlie wouldn’t have wanted his little girl anywhere near a boy as upset as Edward had seemed. However, he could see in his daughter’s eyes that she didn’t want to follow after him solely for his benefit. She needed to make sure he was okay, try to make him be okay just as much as the boy probably needed her. That amount of dependence scared Charlie quite a bit. He had only ever seen that look in couples like Jacob and his wife, or… he gulped trying to avoid comparing his little princess with her aunt Marie.
“Okay, go… But keep that cell phone of yours on and call us if you need help calming him,” Charlie said in what he hoped was a teasing tone. He wanted to take away some of the edge off the situation, make his daughter feel like everything would be alright.
“I will, Dad,” Bella responded and sprinted after Edward. She hoped he hadn’t gone very far.
“Okay while those two calm each other I think we have a lot of catching up to do
“Jacob, why don’t you take
“Okay, I’ll wait for you in the office,” Jacob agreed. “Charlie, I hope we can see each other again soon. Please send my regards to Renee. I haven’t seen her in so long.”
“I will Jake. It was a pleasure seeing you again, even given the situation.” Charlie smiled sympathetically, trying to convey in that small gesture his support in the hope of having an amicable relationship with his daughter’s best friend’s father.
Once Jacob and Alice were out of earshot
“I don’t really know where to begin, so I guess I’ll just start from when your family left town after Marie’s burial.”
-x-x-x-x-
“Edward wait!” a breathless Bella yelled hoping to catch Edward’s attention. He was walking, more like sprinting, towards the wooded area behind
Mercifully, Edward stopped but Bella could see him clenching and unclenching his fists as if he wanted to beat something. She wondered briefly, if maybe it had been a good idea to follow him after all, but she scolded herself almost immediately for even thinking Edward could put her in any danger.
She reached the spot where he was standing and waited. She didn’t know if she could touch him, if he would let her, but she wanted to… so badly. After a few minutes Bella grew frustrated. Edward didn’t seem to be calming down, not even a little bit.
“Edward… I’m going to hug you. I’m just warning you because in the condition you are in you look like you will hit anything that stands in your way.”
Edward didn’t reply and he didn’t turn. He continued to stand in the exact same place. Bella took that as an affirmative that he had heard her and wasn’t against being hugged – that, or he was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t care.
She slowly raised her arms and circled him from behind. At first she hugged him softly. She embraced him like you would a delicate crystal vase that could break with the smallest vibrations, but then all the worry and feeling that had been plaguing her mind engulfed her and her hold grew tighter and tighter until she was hugging him with all of her strength.
The gesture seemed enough to break down whatever wall was keeping Edward away from her and he sunk to the floor, sobbing, taking Bella with him.
They kneeled on the ground for what felt like forever. Bella held him, breathing in his scent. Edward let all the stress and sorrow that had been choking him loose in his tears. He melted into Bella’s loving embrace, clutching her to him like she was his savior.
“I’m so sorry, Edward,” Bella muttered softly against his neck. “I don’t know what happened but whatever it was I’m here for you. Please let me help you.”
Edward swallowed, his throat parched from his sobs. He needed to compose himself and talk to Bella. If there was anyone who could help him make sense of the news he received it was Bella.
After some calming breaths he felt able to reply. He buried his face in Bella’s hair, hiding behind its veil as if her strawberry scented tresses could keep the fear away. He prepared himself to say the words that had been repeating in his mind since his father had broken the news.
“My mother is an alcoholic.”
Bella didn’t say anything. She didn’t say it would be alright because she didn’t know it would be and she frankly thought that was condescending. She also didn’t say she understood because she hadn’t the slightest idea of how she would deal with similar news of her own. However, she did say the one true certainty in the midst of all this drama.
“She loves you Edward. That’s all I know.”
Edward nodded and stood. Bella feared she had said the wrong thing, but felt better when instead of running away he extended his hand to help her get up.
“Come, there’s a bench at the edge of the forest and some swings. Let’s go sit there so we can talk.”
They walked for a few meters and just as Edward had said there was a makeshift playground right at the edge of the forest.
“They built this so that the kids that visited the hospital had somewhere to play. Alice and I used to play on these swings while my mom waited on the bench for my father. Then we would meet Jacob and Tanya somewhere for food, the diner, or somewhere in
Bella didn’t comment. She thought it was best to just let Edward talk of his own accord. Let him open up at his own pace.
They sat together on the bench. Bella sat a bit far from Edward’s body, trying to give him space to gather his thoughts. Edward had other ideas in mind and he pulled her body close to him, snuggling into her.
They sat in silence for a while. The wind blew small yellowish leaves around their feet and Bella observed their little dance. She wondered why life had to be so hard on them. They were too young to be dealing with all this, too young to be haunted by nightmares, too young to be dealing with alcoholic parents and unsolved mysteries.
I guess you’re never too young for life, Bella mused as she focused on the leaves dancing swirls and doing pirouettes on the ground.
After what felt like an eternal silence, Edward spoke, “I always knew that she drank a little after I went to bed. But I always thought it was normal, something all adults did after dinner. Sometimes, when Dad had an all-night shift, she would fall sleep on the couch and I thought she was just too tired to go to her room. I never realized her drinking was a problem because she was never loud. She never yelled or made scenes, or even looked drunk around me. But now I can see it all. In hindsight, things seem so obvious.”
“Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” Bella said, lifting her gaze to meet Edward’s sad eyes. She ran her thumb over his cheekbone trying to convey in actions that she wished she could take away his pain.
“Edward,” she began, straitening so that they were face to face but never abandoning his embrace. “You weren’t supposed to see those signs. You were a kid. You’re still young. She is an adult and your father is an adult… Heck, even your brother should have seen those signs, but not you. How could you have known? If your father who is a doctor didn’t know, then how were you supposed to?”
Edward lowered his gaze and fixed his eyes on his lap. He knew that what Bella said was true; that he couldn’t have known, that he wasn’t supposed to see those signs for what they were. Sadly, that didn’t make him feel any better. He was exhausted, tired of dealing with these problems that were all rooted in the same two names: Anthony and Marie.
If it weren’t for their actions, the pain they caused one another and their families he wouldn’t have been sitting here like this. If it weren’t for the nightmares that had haunted him all of his life, he could have been less of a recluse, he wouldn’t have a dysfunctional family, a life full of secrets, he could have been happy with Bella without having to deal with so many obstacles.
Then anger settled in, anger for all the sleepless nights he tried to make himself stay awake just so that he didn’t have to suffer through another nightmare. He felt anger for all the tears his mother had shed for her lost son and all the damage she had done to herself trying to erase the hurtful memories from her mind. He felt anger because his new and burgeoning relationship with the only girl he had ever liked was tainted by the drama of a past tragedy that had nothing to do with them.
Edward saw red.
He wanted to kick something, anything. He wanted to scream. He wanted to wake up and realize that this was all a bad dream. That he wasn’t here, sitting in the same park where he had enjoyed so many childhood afternoons trying to come to terms with the news of his mother’s condition.
He got up fast, surprising Bella with the speed of his actions and the fury with which he raked his fingers through his hair as he paced in front of the bench.
“Grrr…” He growled, making Bella flinch at the angry energy that was coming off him in waves.
“I’m so fucking tired of this shit!” Edward shouted. Bella was taken aback by the intensity of his outburst. She had never seen him mad or even heard him swear, granted they hadn’t known each other for that long.
“Everywhere we turn there is a new problem waiting, a new crisis! Ugh! As if the dreams weren’t enough! As if my mom hating your family wasn’t enough! Now this?” Edward walked with purpose towards the swings and started kicking and hitting one until the chain gave out and the swing fell.
All this was happening while Bella watched in horror, insecure of what she should do, how she should approach Edward.
“Are you happy?” Edward yelled directing his eyes heavenward. “Is this what you want? Do you want us to be as miserable as you two were? Do you want to see history repeat itself? Of course! In my dreams you talk! In my dreams you never shut the fuck up! You make us go through these horrible experiences, night after night, and why? So that we can learn from the past or just so that we are twice as unhappy as you were?”
Bella only managed to gawk in shock and sadness. Edward, the joyful boy with whom she had watched movies, shared secrets and first kisses was not the enraged boy who was now destroying a second swing.
This scene reminded her of her nightmares too much. She almost expected Edward’s face to shift into Anthony’s. She waited for the clouds to completely darken the grey afternoon, turning it into night. She feared the moment the park would turn into that gloomy street where Marie and Anthony had argued, sobbed and broke down in the first nightmare she was able to remember. Her life was slowly morphing into a never ending sequence of déjà vu, a never ending nightmare. Where was the red pill* when you needed it?
“Fuck!” Edward yelled and Bella felt a cold chill run through her entire frame when she heard his screaming voice. He was in pain and she couldn’t bear it.
She got up from her seat as fast as her feet and faulty coordination would allow and ran to Edward’s side.
His hand was bleeding, and although normally that would freak her out much like she had felt when his lip was injured, her first instinct was to clean the wound, to take care of him.
“Edward, let me see your hand please,” she muttered slowly, as if she were talking to a wild and wounded animal, one that could strike at any moment. She wasn’t afraid per se, but she knew that sometimes angry people could lose control, not fully aware of their actions.
He looked at her as if he didn’t recognize her, as if she were a stranger, and for a second Bella’s heart stopped.
Thankfully, whatever spell he was under didn’t last long, and recognition flooded his features.
“Bella,” he said in a low hoarse voice – the voice of a haunted man, not that of the sad little boy that had been standing in front of her.
Then he hugged her. He gathered her in his arms and drowned himself in her scent. Freesia and strawberry was all Edward needed, all that he wanted. He was not going to let ghosts rule his life. He was the master of his own fate and the past was the past, there was no point dwelling on what you can’t change.
Bella was his present and hopefully his future. No, not hopefully, surely, Edward thought as he clung to Bella, burying his nose in that spot where her shoulder and neck met. With Bella in his arms, all pain was forgotten, even his possibly broken hand.
Bella let him do what he needed to do. She allowed herself to enjoy his closeness, his warmth, and the peace it brought with it because she needed it too.
“Are you better?” she asked after a few minutes in which Edward’s breathing had seemed to reach a normal tempo again.
“I don’t know…” he replied truthfully. He wasn’t sure he was okay, but he was sure everything else was as long as he kept Bella in his arms, close to him.
“You will be…” Bella answered simply. “Now please let me see your hand.”
Edward reluctantly separated himself from her to let her examine his hand. It was bruised and bloody from beating the wooden swing. He could see small splinters around his knuckles and was sure it would swell in no time.
“Oh Edward…” Bella said in a small voice, kissing the palm of his hand gently. It was the only area she was certain it wouldn’t hurt him. “I’m so sorry… so, so sorry… I wish I could do something, anything to fix this. To make Anthony and Marie’s ghosts go away, to make your mom get better… I wish…”
“Shush…” Edward interrupted her, placing his pointer finger atop her lips. “We are together in this. Don’t forget you’re being haunted by the same ghosts I am. We’ll fix it, okay?”
“Okay.” Bella nodded. “It’s just that sometimes I think that maybe if I hadn’t moved to this town, that if I was still living in Seattle… maybe… um…”
“What?” Edward asked, worried. He didn’t like the idea of never having met Bella one bit. His life was like a black and white movie before she entered it and now, as if he had found his own personal Oz the minute she stumbled into him, his life had lit up into a Technicolor world. There was magic when she was around and only grey days when she was away.
Bella sighed heavily before replying, “I just think that maybe we would have gotten over the nightmares at some point and you wouldn’t be in this situation. Your mom only drank like that last night because she was upset over my presence and…”
Bella was interrupted again by Edward, but this time he used his lips instead of his finger. Gently, and oh so softly, he caressed her lips with his. Tenderly, and oh so sweetly, he nipped on her lower lip. However, it was when his tongue timidly peaked out of his mouth to sweep across her lips enticingly that all the sensors in her brain fried.
She was surely having a near death experience. She had never thought that French-kissing could be enjoyable. She had judged the act as gross and ridiculous-looking in her fifteen-year-old innocence. But that tentative taste of Edward’s tongue had obliterated all her previous assumptions and now she couldn’t wait until he dared to do it properly. She was anxious for the kiss but not brave enough to be the one to deepen it, he would have to be the initiator.
Soon, much too soon for both their tastes, Edward pulled back. They were both panting as if they had run a marathon, their hearts leaping in their chests in wild exhilaration.
After they were both able to calm their breathing, Edward gently placed a kiss on Bella’s forehead, making her whole body tingle and her face blush.
Edward placed his forehead against Bella’s and with his eyes closed he said, “Don’t ever say that we would be better off apart because I don’t know about you, but I’ve come to life since I met you. I can’t really explain it. I don’t understand it, but the moment you crashed into me and I looked into your eyes, I finally felt complete. I’ve been feeling lost, empty and confused all of my life. You and only you could ever make me feel the opposite of that and I know it’s too soon, and I know I should be scared, and I know that I’m too young, and yet it all finally fits…”
“Like a key in a lock,” Bella interjected.
“Like a key in a lock…” Edward repeated breathlessly, placing a gentle kiss on her nose.
“I’m so sorry, Edward. You’re absolutely right. If there’s something I’ve learned from Anthony and Marie’s story is that some things, some relationships are just too essential to give up. We must fight for what we want.”
“Stop apologizing please. None of this is your fault. Just… just never say anything like that again, okay? I feel sad just thinking of a world where you don’t exist.”
“Me too…” Bella replied earnestly. “Now let’s go inside, it looks like rain and we need to get your hand cleaned up and checked.”
“When does it not look like rain in Forks?” Edward laughed playfully and for a moment, lost in the sound of his laughter, Bella forgot there was a world outside their bubble.
-x-x-x-x-
Bella was miserable that Monday morning in school. Edward was in Seattle with Carlisle and Jacob getting his mom settled in a special hospital where she could be treated for her addiction as well as her heart condition.
She didn’t know many details, because the adults hadn’t thought it appropriate to tell ‘the kids’, but she knew Edward would be back with Jacob in the evening. Carlisle would stay in Seattle, even though he couldn’t see Esme everyday.
Bella understood why. If Edward was in Esme’s place she would do the same. She wouldn’t want to be three or four hours away. She would want to be as close as possible, even if all she could do was pester the doctors to death for information.
However, what had made her morning worse than she had anticipated was the new addition to Forks High – James Hunter had joined the ranks of the high school student body and Bella already dreaded attending class.
Luckily for her, they didn’t seem to share a single class. Unluckily for her, this didn’t seem to stop him from seeking out any opportunity to try to engage her in, or strike up a conversation. Apparently, he was pretending Sunday afternoon didn’t happen. Like Bella could ever forget his beady eyes or the calculating way he had studied her the day before. Like a hunter would stalk its prey…
How very apt that his last name is – Hunter, Bella mused as she continued to tap her fingers on her desk. She was trying to will the handles of the big clock above the teacher’s desk to move faster. So far, it was an utter fail.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the hands moved to the correct position and the class was dismissed. Bella was going home and when Edward called her, she was going to Alice’s house — where Edward would be staying while his parents were away — to meet with him. She could hardly wait.
Like moving on clouds, she swiftly walked towards her locker and gathered all the books she would need to take home with her. She placed Edward’s homework inside a folder and smiled.
She had nagged Alice to be the one to take care of that responsibility. Alice had been reluctant, anxious to do something for her cousin, but had relented in the end when Bella told her that was her excuse to get to see Edward right after he came back.
Alice’s budding romantic life gave her new insight into Edward and Bella’s relationship. She knew she would probably go to similar extremes to see James, so she had decided to help by agreeing with that small concession.
Once Bella had collected all she would need, she closed her locker only to be confronted by a smirking face she would have rather not seen.
“James,” Bella acknowledged dejectedly. “What can I do for you?”
“Many, many things, dearest Isabella…” he responded, his smirk growing impossibly larger, his white teeth making him look much more menacing than a fifteen year old boy had any right to. “But right now I just want to know where Alice is. Do you know by any chance? She told me earlier this morning to meet her by her locker, which coincidentally happens to be the one next to yours.”
“No, sadly I don’t know. Why don’t you wait for her here like she asked you to? I’m sure her class is just running late, and she’ll be here in any minute,” Bella started to walk away, annoyed by the fact that in spite of Alice’s uncanny intuition she failed to see just how big of a jerk James was. She would have to have a talk with her as soon as possible, maybe later today when she went to her house.
However, before she could go far, someone grabbed her by the wrist. She flinched away from the unwelcome touch, repulsed by the negative energy she received from it. It was the exact opposite of what she felt when Edward touched her.
“What is it with you and all the grabbing? Don’t you have a sense of personal space?” Bella hissed, beyond irate over James’ actions.
James eyes twinkled wickedly.
Bella’s stomach sank. She wanted to act brave, but there were times like these when James scared her, when he looked older, and almost evil. She tried her hardest to maintain her confident façade.
“Aw… boo… I just wanted to ask you to keep me company until Alice arrived. No need to get angry over something so small.”
“Are you mental? First of all, my dad is probably waiting for me outside in his car, and second of all, as much as you would like to pretend otherwise, we aren’t friends.”
James’ eyes gleamed with an unnamed feeling that shook Bella to the core. He looked like an ancient demon preparing to unleash his anger upon the little human. She wondered briefly if he was possessed.
“What’s your favorite animal or insect Bella?” he suddenly asked with mischievousness plastered all over his features.
“Um…” Talk about non sequitur, Bella thought. “Why do you ask?”
“Just answer the question,” James insisted menacingly.
Bella considered it best to play along. “Dolphins.”
“Excellent choice,” James said excitedly, as if she was a toddler who had gotten the right answer after many attempts. “Smart animals, dolphins. They are very sensitive and friendly. They trust humans more than they should too. Their friendliness is both a blessing and a curse for them. Sadly, they never see the humans for what they are. It suits you.”
Bella eyed him carefully, trying to gauge what he had intended with this little game. Scare her more, maybe? His face was unreadable.
“You know what my favorite animal or insect is?” he asked before she could ponder about his questions further. “The spider,” he continued. “They are small but precise. They knit a web in an inconspicuous place, like a tree branch or a bush, and they wait. They just wait. They don’t need any fancy tricks or to stalk its prey like most predators do. They just need to be patient and know when the perfect moment to strike is. The unaware little bugs fall into its trap without the spider having to do anything. They just can’t see the web the spider knitted until it’s too late to get away. All that’s left is for the spider to feast on its new victim.
“However, the spider is also different in its feeding habits. She doesn’t eat fast for fear of other predators stealing her food. She mummifies it and eats it in small intervals. Don’t you agree that the spider is a fine specimen of Nature’s best?”
Bella gulped. Her lips felt dry all of the sudden, and she wasn’t sure if James wanted her to agree or to be frightened out of her wits. She chose silence instead. All of his speech had seemed like a horrible metaphor of something Bella feared he would do to Alice, or to her.
James continued, undeterred by Bella’s silence. “Some spiders however are trickier. Like fishermen, they use smaller bugs they’ve caught to attract bigger ones. They place their bait in the middle of their web, and they wait until another bug falls for the illusion of an easy meal.”
James grinned like he owned the world and all of its secrets.
Bella had started to take a few steps back when he looked behind her calling, “Alice, dear!”
Bella turned and found Alice walking towards them. She felt her heart stop beating when Alice jumped into James’ embrace like old lovers meeting after a long time.
This was not good.
“Bella,”
“Of course she’ll be there. Won’t you Bella?”
“Um…” Bella hesitated, but clearing her throat she carried on, “Of course. I’ll be there,
“Okay, see you then.”
Bella felt ill.
____________________________________
*Red Pill: The term redpill is a pop culture term that was popularized in science fiction culture via the 1999 film The Matrix. Borrowing from the movie, the terms blue pill and red pill have become a popular metaphor for the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red). Source: Wikipedia.
A/N Um… sorry? I really am sorry but things just happen when you’re writing things this way. I did learn something though. If I ever write anything after this, I’ll write the whole thing and have it Beta’d before posting. Life is a learning experience so at least I take the positive out of my writer’s block. Anyways… thank you to those who are still hanging there. I really appreciate the patience, and I promise to do my best, always, just for you.
I would like to give a special thanks to Indie Fic Pimp, and Obsmama. Obsmama wrote a lovely review on AS for the Indie Fic Pimp blog, and I can never thank them enough for their kindness. It was surprise I found out through twitter, and unlike Bella I love surprises.
If you want to read the review, it’s posted here:
http://indieficpimp.blogspot.com/2010/09/wip-of-week-910-916.html
As always, thank you to Rhian0000 for her help with my messy chapters. She’s truly brilliant, and I have no words to express how grateful I am to count her amongst my friends. Thank you as well to lemonmartinis, she’s a lovely spark of sunshine, and she gives me the best insight into my story. I couldn’t do this without their help.
I have a rec for this week that I’m sure will make me lose my Wussperv Queen crown, but I’m okay with it.
One of These Nights by MellieB40.
Angela is a paid escort. Edward is a Divorced 37 year old Surgeon, who is Angela’s favorite client. Bella is Angela’s 27 year old neighbour who is going through a messy divorce. It’s labelled Romance/Angst, and 10 chapters in. So far I’m loving it. I know! I’m shocked myself, but it’s Edward/Bella in spite of the messy beginning, so it’s not completely wussperv unfriendly you know… LOL… Anyways, if you need something to read, give it a chance. You can find the link in my Fanfiction.Net Community ‘MUST READ by ANGE’
So that’s all for now,
(Hugs and Kisses)
Ange xxx
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