Disclaimer: These characters are the sole
property of Stephenie Meyer. I am just messing around with them.
A/N I don’t have a pre-reader or a Beta or
anything of the sort. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.
-x-X-x-
A Love So Beautiful
Hertfordshire, England 1889.
There’s not a
thing that can erase the happy smile in my face today. The words of my mother
the night before have filled me with a sense of hope I scarcely dare entertain previously.
I walk slowly,
trying not to make a noise. Even though after tonight Edward and I may be
engaged I can’t risk being compromised by being caught visiting him in his
rooms. It’s early, but I’m well aware that many servants start their duties as
soon as the sun rises over the horizon.
I quietly open
Edward’s chamber door. I sigh in relief when I notice there’s no sign of his
valet. From his usual routine I know I have an hour before his valet arrives
with Edward’s breakfast.
I tiptoe and
open the last door separating me from Edward. I find him sleeping soundly. His
hair is in a complete state of disarray, pointing in all different directions.
His mouth is slightly open, his breathing calm, and his eyelids are fluttering
softly. Sleeping as he is, Edward looks like the young child I met almost ten
years ago. The young boy with sticky hands that thought frogs would make
excellent pets, and was reluctant to befriend a girl with frilly dresses such
as me.
I smile at the
memory but I’m immediately alarmed by a noise coming from Edward’s bed. At
first I think I’ve woken him but then I realise he’s still fast asleep. I sigh
in relief and walk towards his bed. I sit by his side and gently brush some of
his hair away, keeping it from obscuring his closed eyes from me.
“Looking at
someone whilst said someone is sleeping could be considered disturbing by some
people,” Edward’s gruff voice shocks me.
“You’re awake,”
I whisper as his hand wraps around the fingers I was caressing him with.
He brings my
fingers to his mouth and kisses my knuckles softly. Then, he opens his eyes,
those green soulful eyes that have me bewitched, and says, “I was dreaming of
you. Of our kiss. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I wish for a repeat.”
Before I have
time to even ponder on the romantic confession, his arm wraps itself around my
waist and in a swift movement Edward moves my body to lie atop his.
We are breathing
hard. His mouth is slightly parted as if he wants to add something to his
previous statement but instead he kisses me. His lips move sensuously over
mine, delicately exploring the contours of my lips, before I feel him trying to
deepen the kiss further.
Before
yesterday, I’ve never kissed anyone on the lips. I’ve never felt this passion,
this consuming desire I feel every time my lips come into contact with Edward’s.
I should be dismayed with my unseemly behaviour, but I’m not. Something deep in
my soul tells me this is right, that no matter what society deems as correct conduct
for a lady of my class, I should be kissing Edward as I’m kissing him.
Edward moves to
sit himself against his pillows and in the process moves me in such a way that I’m
left straddling his hips while I hold onto his shoulders. We’re ravenous in our
study of the other’s mouth. I can’t stop the whimper that escapes me when I
feel Edward’s tongue caressing mine. This is by far the most intimate kiss we
have shared, the most incendiary one.
Edward is
shirtless and only wearing one of those pyjamas that have become increasingly
popular among men. The feel of his skin, in direct contact with my hands drives
me wild. I have never seen Edward in such state of undress, not even when we
were small children. Without my permission my hands start an exploration of
Edward’s body.
Gradually, my
hands descend from Edward’s shoulder to caress his chest, covered in fine and
soft hair. I’m mesmerized by my discoveries of the male form. Before this day I
didn’t know a man could grow hair in so many places. It thrills me to the core
when Edward gasps loudly into my mouth as soon as my hands get near the ties of
his pyjamas. I know the basics of what happens between a man and a woman once
they are married. I made Alice confess the more sordid details—the ones my
mother would never share with me, not even before my wedding night— as soon as
she returned from her honeymoon.
I know that
right under those pyjamas there’s a part of Edward that in our wedding night
will enter me and bind me to his body; the same way my soul is bound to his. Alice
described the whole ordeal as something to be endured, something painful and
remarkably uncomfortable. However, I can’t believe that anything that follows
this amount of passion can be anything but wonderful.
I believe that
if Alice loved her husband as much as I love Edward she would find the
experience as beguiling as I find it.
“Bella,” Edward hisses
when one of my fingers gets under the waist of his pyjamas. “Please stop before
I do something I’ll regret later.”
I halt my
explorations and place my hands in a safe
place by returning them to Edward’s shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” I
whisper against Edward’s neck. He’s hugging me tightly to him and I relax against
his body while I listen to his racing heart.
“No apologies,
Bella. I would love nothing more than being allowed to explore your body at my
leisure and allowing you the same courtesy.” Edward chuckles, “However, if we
were to unleash our desires freely we might find each other standing before an
altar much sooner than either of us is prepared.”
I nod against
Edward’s neck and sigh before lifting my head to face him.
“Sometimes, I
feel like this is a dream,” I confess, as my fingers trace the lines of Edward’s
face. “I feel as if I’m going to wake up and you won’t feel the same about me. It
seems too good to be true.”
Edward kisses
the tip of my nose and says, “I know what you mean.”
We stay like
that, relishing in each other’s embrace until I’m reminded of the reason of my
visit.
“Edward!” I
exclaim, breaking the silence that we had been sharing.
“What is it my
Bella?” he questions as he brushes some bangs away from my face.
I love it when
he calls me my Bella. I quickly
recover from his charms so I can share the news I have for him. My new hope,
our new hope.
“My mother said
to me last night that the true reason behind our visit is not exactly attending
your mother’s annual ball tonight. Apparently, she has known for a while of my
feelings for you and asked my father to negotiate a marriage contract between us.
My mother believes that if your father agrees now, while we are still so young,
he’ll have no excuse to force you to marry another down the line.” I leave out
the information about the Cullen finances being in bad shape. I don’t know if
Edward knows of their state and I don’t want to worry him unduly.
“Are you sure?
What has my father said?” I can see the joy lurking behind Edward’s eyes, but I
can also see that he’s hesitant to surrender to it. Like me, he cannot believe
our situation could be resolved so easily.
I nod with vehemence
and smile broadly.
“I don’t know
the status of the negotiations but my mother is very optimistic.”
Edward sighs and
kisses my mouth lightly. “I hope for both our sakes that your father is a
masterful negotiator. My father is not an easy man to sway.”
I wrap my arms
around Edward’s neck as I feel a twinge twist my heart. I won’t let doubt hurt
me. Hope is all I have.
-x-X-x-
After I surreptitiously
escape Edward’s bedroom before his valet’s arrival, I walk towards my own rooms
with renewed confidence. Charles Swan has made himself a fortune out of
nothing, so I have to trust in my father’s tenacity and charm. If anyone can
convince Lord Cullen that man is my father.
I enter my
anteroom where a maid is already serving breakfast. She looks at me quizzically,
as if she was expecting me to walk in from the door that leads to my bedroom
not the one that leads to the hall.
I smile
sheepishly and simply state that I went for a walk. She doesn’t seem to
question me further for which I’m thankful. I know that if my governess had
accompanied us to this trip I would not have been able to escape this morning.
Thankful that Mrs
Cope is in London and not here I take a seat next to a window and sip from my
tea while the maid finishes setting the table.
When I hear the
door being opened I almost jump in excitement expecting to see my mother—who
usually has all of her meals with me.
I frown in confusion
when instead of my mother’s sandy-blond hair and delicate features I’m met with
Lady Victoria Whitlock-Hale’s wild red hair and curvaceous figure. She’s Alice’s
husband younger sister and a year older than Edward and me. At first I used to
be loath of being in her presence, and I must confess that at times I still
find her somewhat annoying. Nevertheless, in my current elated state I smile
broadly and greet her as the friends we sometimes pretend to be.
“Oh, Bella!” she
cries euphorically. I can tell she has some happy news to share, but knowing
Victoria like I do it may be something as simple as she finding the perfect
ribbon to wear at the party tonight.
“What is the
matter, Victoria?” I ask politely as I invite her to take a seat in front of
mine.
She grasps my
hands in hers as if we were the best confidants and continues, “My father has
just given me the best news and I had to share them with a friend. I just could
not wait until the announcement is made tonight."
My eyes widen in
surprise, on one side Victoria considers me a good enough friend to share her
happy news with me, and in the other she mentioned an announcement to be made
in the party tonight. Worry suddenly clouds my senses and I hear the rest of
her story as if from a faraway cloud.
“My father has
been in talks for months to arrange a marriage for me. You know how much he
loves me so when I told him who I would marry if I had a choice he went ahead
and made the necessary arrangements. It wasn’t easy but since whoever marries
me is set to inherit a viscountship, my father was able to secure the contract.”
I gulp and I can
feel my heart shattering in anticipation. There’s only one person who would
give such importance to the title Victoria can provide to her future husband,
and only one person Victoria has seemed to be obsessed with for the last few
years. I can’t even breathe as I wait for Victoria to end her announcement.
“I’m engaged to
Edward!” Victoria almost screeches in glee. “He doesn’t know yet. I suppose his
father is telling him of the contract as we speak. But I am so happy, I just
had to share the news with someone, and since you are Edward’s and my friend I
thought: who better to share this news with?”
I move my head
as if nodding, but honestly I can’t feel the rest of my body anymore. I could
be jerking my head awkwardly and I would not be able to discern the difference.
No, I tell myself. It can’t be. My father was in talks with Lord Cullen too. This
can’t be real.
When I hear the
door open a second time, I turn to see who my latest visitor is. My heart stops
when I see my mother’s distraught expression, and when her eyes go from my face
to my hands joined with Victoria’s I know the truth.
I stop
breathing, I stop moving, and everything stops in that one second for me.
My world and all
my hopes and dreams are blown to smithereens. How will I go on living when
there’s no heart beating inside me? How will I continue when all I wish for now
is the merciful release of death? How can I keep on hoping when there is no
hope to be had? How?
-x-X-x-
Longish chapter. This Bella just won’t STFU. I swear I’m dreaming this
story.
Sorry for lulling you into a false sense of hope last chapter. But if
you do remember in chapter 1 Bella is about to marry someone not-Edward…
A Fic Rec: The Heir and the Spare by sleepyvalentina. I love it so far
:)
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